Why do I have energy at times when I can rest, but when I rest I have too much energy?

How Dealing with Chronic Fatigue affects my life

 

Hello and Good Morning/Evening and Welcome to Afterthoughts, (WCMF).  Since I missed Manic Monday and was late with Sundays and Smalltalk, I thought that talking about chronic pain and fatigue would be a great topic, plus, some things I try to do to make my nights rest as comfortable as possible.

 

The last few days I haven’t been feeling that well, and after going grocery shopping on Monday, then by the time we were back, I felt like I ran the mile.  So exhausted, and also getting a little bit of house work, had me in bed, not just in bed, but passed out asleep.  Apparently, I was that tired and this lasted until today, just eating, restroom, sleep.  I don’t know what is happening, sometimes too much sleep is a sign of infection somewhere, but somehow both my appointments today canceled.  Gratitude, that is what I have to say is Gratitude.

My dad came from out of town to take me to the store, we talked over lunch and went to do kids back to school shopping.  I really was so tired, but spending that time with my Dad, was worth it all.  I am really grateful to him, my mother, and it was just a lot, clothes shoes, supplies, thank goodness I had my daughter there to help out.

When pain like this acts up, I feel so tired and lacking of any energy.  I mopped my kitchen and dining room, the day before yesterday.  So today, now really exhausted and my arms and shoulders, into my back hurt so much, but I am fighting to work through it, I can’t work out like I used to, but I am going to push through. Yes I have kids, however it sometimes easier to do the chores because I am picky, but I do enlist them for help all the time.

Now that my schedule is all out of place, I am going to put it back together.  Try to sleep a normal and reasonable amount of time, and just make some adjustments.  I have been cheating on my coffee limits, so I must go back to 2 cups a day and stopping by 3 in the afternoon.  When I worked I used to drink Coffee All day and now I can’t do that anymore..  I will be up all night and my pain is really bad.  By doing a couple of things at night, tea (relaxing) easy listening music or something to watch on the TV, doing things that relax me and not bring stress to me.

Before my Mesh Implant Complications, I had an amazing life, that I worked really hard for.  Now, I am struggling but I am not broken either.  I know that there isn’t anything that can be done now, so I just take things slowly so I don’t want to get hurt.  Everyday I get with my family is a blessing ; and I am going to beat this mesh, as long as I am alive, won’t let it beat me.

Finally when I took the picture (above: me) I really didn’t think anything of it, thought it was different, but the truth is I don’t have any teeth right now.  At my age, my teeth, they all just kept breaking down and now I have to get false teeth, in the process of it now.  I ended up with abscessed tooth and I have emergency surgery to have the rest removed.   Now I am seeing people around the world talking about how they lost their teeth after mesh was implanted. I don’t know for sure if mesh implants causes teeth decay, but if it does, just another thing to add to the list of side effects that we as patients, are suffering with.

Thank you to everyone following my blog.  After accepting that pain was going to be a part of my life forever, I started slowly changing things within a comfort zone, mental and physical.    Ex” I mopped both kitchen and dining, now I am going to declutter and start the remodeling.  Just to clarify, we are renting so nothing major than just redecorating with updated pictures.  I want my dining room to look like an old place friends can come and enjoy with us.

img_20160102_164905.jpg

My Cat, Sassy, she likes to sit everywhere.  Most of the time when we have company over, my kitchen table becomes the heart of our home. This table belonged to my grandparents on my Dad’s side, and I would love to restore it, sometime in the future, but redoing my dining room will be fun, and  It will  keep me distracted from the pain hopefully, and maybe I can get some fun stuff done.  My pain is nuts, so hopefully I can get some relief and not have to go a hospital.  😦

I usually do my VLOG, Impromptu on Thursdays, so my plan is to be back a little earlier to bring you my VLOG, my readers and listeners, I would love to hear your idea’s.  This is if my pain doesn’t interfere again.  I know it’s not easy to talk about having a TVM, but I believe we are stronger together.  Transvaginal Mesh Implants hurt people both physically and mentally.  If I can’t get medical care from my doctor tomorrow, off to the emergency room.  If I go, it will be because I felt I had no other choice because of the pain, that’s usually when I have to go.  If that happens I will let everyone know if I can what is happening.

I would like to give a special Thank You  to everyone for your concerns & support, A Special Thank you to my family, the support helps m  Hello to my new followers on social media and here on Word press, I am happy that I can share my TVM Mesh Journey.  I couldn’t do this without everyone on social media and having my blog, please share it, if you know anyone who suffers with the side effects from a Transvaginal Mesh..  When I started this, it was just a Facebook page, then I decided to do a blog on my mesh Journey, from there oh man, everyday the numbers keep going up and I am so grateful for you all letting share with you my stories, which isn’t finished, I think I am just getting started.  I have been through so much and I want other patients to know they are not alone.

I love you all and blessings to you,

You can find me social media and Google +.  Going to try and get some answers on my insomnia and until tomorrow night, thank you all for reading.

Michelle Hedgcoth, Co-Founder of westcoastmeshfighter, graphic designer, writer, Transvaginal Mesh Warrior & Survivor,

 

 

Advertisements

How learning how to rediscover loving and appreciating little moments living with a Transvaginal Mesh Implant.

Hello and Welcome to Manic Monday, I hope everyone is having a great Monday so far.  My Monday reminded me of times that when I had the ability to take our family on trips and enjoy life.  Now everything has changed, from how we spend our days, to life in general.  Going through a severe depressive state with extreme anxiety to starting to let go of things and remember it’s ok to enjoy life, even with a disability.

I have been really fortunate to have been able to take my family on trips and spend time with them just going out to dinner or shopping with them for new clothes, supplies for school, shoes, fun things that is popular.  At one point all my kids with the exception of my youngest, a little to young yet, but yes, I did so much with them.

Living with this disability is the biggest challenge I have ever experienced in my life.  Sacrifice has been so hard, my family and I have suffered in ways that the mesh companies couldn’t possibly imagine, while they are sitting there able to live a rich life, Anger and Sadness doesn’t even come close to how I am feeling.  I have always believed in what goes around, comes around and I am hopeful that justice will actually come in and see what is going on with how we as patients are being treated, lack of medical care and not anywhere enough on the amounts of settlements for the rest of our life.

what is painToday was exceptionally hard with pain, hopefully it won’t be a long night.  I haven’t been able to shake it and it could be a number of factors, however I go to see my Doctor this next month.  One thing I have done is Journal.  I have journals for everything that has happened since the beginning of all this and if I know I am going to a doctor any doctor, I take my medical files with my journal and ask questions.  I see my doctor every 3 months, and since my pain is really bad, I just have to relax and realize hey, it’s ok.   I am doing my best and that is good enough.

Yesterday’s blog post was really deep and although it was really difficult to type about, I believe that the truth will set you free from things and letting go of that disappointment and anger, it was hard to do, but now I want to live happy and see what else I can do to try to bring myself to a reasonable, low pain level.  Goals.. Every week I give myself realistic goals to achieve and it helps me to get through the week.  Since I am still trying to make sense of everything, I will keep tonight’s blog post short.

My new case manager called this morning, so half asleep I kept our first conversation fairy lite.  Just deal with a couple of easy things is up first and then we will take it from there.

In conclusion I wanted to share this with everyone because it’s touched my heart so much, I really am having a hard time not crying because with the recent passing of my cousin for some reason my outlook on everything changed.  I am a firm believer that when u put out positive energy, it comes back and we have had that happen for our family with clothes, food, etc.   I am so blessed and grateful for all of our family and friends supporting us emotionally and their help.  These are the important things to realize and anything too big emotionally, I give it GOD and I will touch more in detail in future blogs, but for now.  Gratitude!!!!  It wouldn’t be Manic Monday without a Dream Bedroom… Goals!

Thank you all for reading and Thursday will be a new VLOG.  I haven’t been able to post on here due to restrictions with the free account for WordPress and would love to do more, but until I start to pay, I have found other ways to share videos.  Please feel free to find me on social media. YouTube is westcoastmeshfighter, yes we have a channel and I vlog once a week right now.  Thank you all for your love and support.

Michelle Hedgcoth, co founder of westcoastmeshfighter.   #tvmwarriorandsurvivor

 

 

How do I create a new happy adjusted life living with Transvaginal Mesh limitations?

Hello Good Evening/Morning to everyone and welcome to Afterthoughts, for Westcoastmeshfighter.  Tonight’s subject is about your self worth and work.  Most of us were different people, with different outlooks about our life and what we wanted it to be.  Then the mesh implants started to cause severe pelvic pain, constipation, infections, auto immune disorder, mesh revisional, physical Therapy for my Pelvic Floor.

cafe cupCool graphic I found online., Coffee in my favorite color.

So here begs the question:  How can we live an enjoyable life living with chronic pain?  Well if I had the entire answer, I probably would be living a whole lot better than our family is living right now,  being able to feed my kids without worry, have money pay for a place in a good neighborhood with a good school and just to live the life I used too.  At some point I had to admit that I was human and get some help to deal with all the stress.

Ok in reality, just having a place to live is a blessing and constantly we make it through situation that could have avoided if I never became injured.  I have prayed and prayed for guidance from god.  One you awaken your inner soul your truth will guide you to better things, but change always has to happen.  Unhealthy decisions will never get you to a place where you can say you earned it.  I can’t do that anymore, but I know I can help others.

tbnotetoself

 

First and foremost I wanted to say is I am catholic and I want to thank God for the many blessings he has given our family as we continue with the journey.  I thought to myself, so you lost your life everything.  I really thought about this and there are a couple of ways of approaching this controversial  issue.  I know I have made mistakes along with way regarding medical decisions, however I cannot go back and change anything, so I choose to move forward.  My pain is really bad so I will wrap this u.

End after Graphic.

the war of Art

Cont…

Living with chronic pain isn’t easy, it seem that as my pain is getting worse, the more I want stay in bed.  I am working on changing these behaviors that are not healthy for me or my family.  I have already made the appointment to go to my internal medicine Doctor and I received a letter indicating that my urogynocologist isn’t’ going to treat patients in our dept. anymore@ UC Davis,,  They did offer alternative doctors and will have to call later this morning to deal with that.

It’s hard to love yourself, I know not everyone can shut down their emotions or pain, so it’s a trial and error.  I have been through so much and I am living life day by day instead of planning every little thing. Now I have started to have memory loss and I can’t remember some of the things that has happened in the last two week, this has been going on for a while now.  Some of my days are good and some are terrible. Each person has different disabilities and we can no longer work.  What I don’t understand is how can this be.  I haven’t gone to work since September 30, 2013 due to medical reasons, so I am rehire able, however my problem isn’t fixed and I don’t know if it will ever be.  I am really trying to make the best of it all.

it doesn’t stop me from trying.  I just go with the flow with things, I have a  bag packed just in case I have to leave my house in a hurry or go to the hospital.  I try not to plan things that I can’t over come.

 

It’s hard for anyone to understand chronic pain unless of course you live with it everyday.  I Encourage everyone to make sure you have a support system like family and friends to help you.  I also encourage that you have a plan just in case, It’s not easy but a lot of towns have food banks know that catholic churches gives you two nice bags of food and fruit and breads and deserts and they have clothes..  I encourage everyone to check for that in your home town, it helps that they can help out families in need.  I hope you all  have a wonderful week and I will be back tomorrow with Manic Monday… Hugs and Blessings Mesh Warrior.

Thank you for reading and until next time mesh warriors..

Mrs. Michelle Hedgcoth, Co founder of WCMF, advocate for patient rights and Humanitarian for chronic pain patients.  Thank you again. #westcoastmeshfighter, #tvmwarriorandsurvivor, #wearestrongertogether

 

Hot Summer Friday Nights living with Transvaginal Mesh?

Hello and Good Evening/Morning and Welcome to Afterthoughts, West Coast Mesh Fighter. 

After a long week, I am happy to blog and talk about this heat wave we are having here in California.  It is ridiculous hot and staying in a temperature controlled room is imperative now because when I get too hot or too cold, everything seems to hurt more???   It’s now been three years since I have been able to go the beach (2hr) drive from here.  The Beach is my favorite place to relax and unwind.  I am not sure about everyone else, but my pain levels are really high and I almost had to go to the hospital a couple of nights this week, but thank you God, I am home. I really love the summer time because it’s so calming and relaxing that I can really get into dealing with my Chronic Pain.  Once I figured out how my body adapts to weather changes, I really had to make major changes.

relaxreducestressgraphic

Hard Steps, but I work on this everyday.  It’s really easy to get into a mood where my pain and emotional state end up running me and it should be the other way around.  I spent almost 3 years in a deep depression.  I cut off all family and limited my contacts with friends, because I can’t do a lot of things the way I used to anymore, also it was assumed that I was addicted to drugs either prescription or recreational drugs (which I have never had an addiction problem) and that I was somehow making it all up to avoid working.  I have worked from the time I was 15 1/2yrs old and I actually am irritated because I can no longer work.  One thing I have come to realize is that having a mesh implant it has given me more patience and forgiveness for myself.

I was trusting my gut instinct and because I didn’t really know what was happening to me then,  I knew I couldn’t really explain to my family and friends exactly what was going on and that alone was a lot of anxiety and stress.  I feel really disconnected from my prior life as I knew it, now.  I did a lot of crying and a lot of soul searching, praying to God for guidance, then I knew what I needed to do.  Having a Transvaginal Mesh Implant has caused a lot of side effects.  My auto immune condition, fibromyalgia went from being manageable to completely out of control

Foods to avoid this summer and Foods to love

Anything that can cause Gas pains:

  1. Broccoli, beans, cheese, dairy, whole grains, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, cabbage, asparagus, and cauliflower are known to cause gas.  I definitely would talk to my doctor or nutritionist about what foods you should illuminate.
  2. Fruits such as apples, peaches, pears, and prunes contain the natural sugar alcohol, sorbitol, which the body has trouble digesting. Many fruits also have soluble fiber, which is a type of fiber that dissolves in water. Sorbitol and soluble fiber must both also pass through the large intestines, where bacteria break them down to create hydrogen, carbon dioxide, and methane gas.  I was really taken back because prunes help pass things along.
  3. Sodas and other carbonated drinks can add significantly to the amount of air you swallow. When air gets into your digestive tract, it has to pass through somehow. This causes burping and may also increase how much gas you pass. Swapping soda for juice, tea, or water (with no carbonation) may help you reduce gas.
  4. Processed foods are packaged goods, such as breads, snack foods, cereal, and salad dressing. These contain a variety of ingredients, including fructose and lactose. This combination can lead to increased gas.

Summer time includes so many things, flip flop weather, and having family bbq’s to water/theme parks and having to watch what I eat is tough, but for my digestion system I am willing to make the sacrifice’s.  I love salads with fresh vegetables and organic dressings nothing too heavy.  Watermelon, oranges, grapes… I have it on a schedule where I can eat some things and take it easy like every other day, but it varies.

lactaideverything

We digest food differently so it’s really a process of trial and error to see what food affect you and how they affect you.  I changed my milk products to Lactaid and most Coffee Creamers are being made where these ingredients are not in them anymore.  Finances have really played a role in all of these things that I do to make life a bit easier.  I am looking forward to a trip to the beach soon.  Most of my pain comes from the rectal side, I get inflammation in my Colon, the pain is unreal when it acts up which is everyday.

A new video will be coming soon, it is a new project I am working on continuing it and It’s a lot of fun to do.  If there are any questions, or comments, please ask away.  I will always do my best to either get answers or investigate further.

I will definitely be blogging on Sunday’s and Smalltalk, Manic Mondays and with all the stress that comes with battling this complicated condition, there is room for some happy.  Without happiness, misery will surely take over.  We are here and it’s ok to live our life’s as best as we can.  Good is good enough and forgiveness within my self helps me to walk through this journey with purpose.  Thank you all for reading tonight and I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Yes it’s time for Meme of the Week.   I did two this week.  I hope you like them.  If you have any suggestions on mesh meme’s please comment with your ideas. 

Ref:  free images, meme creator,

http://www.healthline.com/health/foods-that-cause-gas

 

M. Hedgcoth, co founder of WCMF.  Transvaginal Mesh Warrior and Survivor. God bless you.  Dedicated to John Aguilar, Rest In Peace Cousin, you will be missed everyday.  I love you. 

john john final.John John Aguilar…jjnoahashlee