Why do I have energy at times when I can rest, but when I rest I have too much energy?

How Dealing with Chronic Fatigue affects my life

 

Hello and Good Morning/Evening and Welcome to Afterthoughts, (WCMF).  Since I missed Manic Monday and was late with Sundays and Smalltalk, I thought that talking about chronic pain and fatigue would be a great topic, plus, some things I try to do to make my nights rest as comfortable as possible.

 

The last few days I haven’t been feeling that well, and after going grocery shopping on Monday, then by the time we were back, I felt like I ran the mile.  So exhausted, and also getting a little bit of house work, had me in bed, not just in bed, but passed out asleep.  Apparently, I was that tired and this lasted until today, just eating, restroom, sleep.  I don’t know what is happening, sometimes too much sleep is a sign of infection somewhere, but somehow both my appointments today canceled.  Gratitude, that is what I have to say is Gratitude.

My dad came from out of town to take me to the store, we talked over lunch and went to do kids back to school shopping.  I really was so tired, but spending that time with my Dad, was worth it all.  I am really grateful to him, my mother, and it was just a lot, clothes shoes, supplies, thank goodness I had my daughter there to help out.

When pain like this acts up, I feel so tired and lacking of any energy.  I mopped my kitchen and dining room, the day before yesterday.  So today, now really exhausted and my arms and shoulders, into my back hurt so much, but I am fighting to work through it, I can’t work out like I used to, but I am going to push through. Yes I have kids, however it sometimes easier to do the chores because I am picky, but I do enlist them for help all the time.

Now that my schedule is all out of place, I am going to put it back together.  Try to sleep a normal and reasonable amount of time, and just make some adjustments.  I have been cheating on my coffee limits, so I must go back to 2 cups a day and stopping by 3 in the afternoon.  When I worked I used to drink Coffee All day and now I can’t do that anymore..  I will be up all night and my pain is really bad.  By doing a couple of things at night, tea (relaxing) easy listening music or something to watch on the TV, doing things that relax me and not bring stress to me.

Before my Mesh Implant Complications, I had an amazing life, that I worked really hard for.  Now, I am struggling but I am not broken either.  I know that there isn’t anything that can be done now, so I just take things slowly so I don’t want to get hurt.  Everyday I get with my family is a blessing ; and I am going to beat this mesh, as long as I am alive, won’t let it beat me.

Finally when I took the picture (above: me) I really didn’t think anything of it, thought it was different, but the truth is I don’t have any teeth right now.  At my age, my teeth, they all just kept breaking down and now I have to get false teeth, in the process of it now.  I ended up with abscessed tooth and I have emergency surgery to have the rest removed.   Now I am seeing people around the world talking about how they lost their teeth after mesh was implanted. I don’t know for sure if mesh implants causes teeth decay, but if it does, just another thing to add to the list of side effects that we as patients, are suffering with.

Thank you to everyone following my blog.  After accepting that pain was going to be a part of my life forever, I started slowly changing things within a comfort zone, mental and physical.    Ex” I mopped both kitchen and dining, now I am going to declutter and start the remodeling.  Just to clarify, we are renting so nothing major than just redecorating with updated pictures.  I want my dining room to look like an old place friends can come and enjoy with us.

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My Cat, Sassy, she likes to sit everywhere.  Most of the time when we have company over, my kitchen table becomes the heart of our home. This table belonged to my grandparents on my Dad’s side, and I would love to restore it, sometime in the future, but redoing my dining room will be fun, and  It will  keep me distracted from the pain hopefully, and maybe I can get some fun stuff done.  My pain is nuts, so hopefully I can get some relief and not have to go a hospital.  😦

I usually do my VLOG, Impromptu on Thursdays, so my plan is to be back a little earlier to bring you my VLOG, my readers and listeners, I would love to hear your idea’s.  This is if my pain doesn’t interfere again.  I know it’s not easy to talk about having a TVM, but I believe we are stronger together.  Transvaginal Mesh Implants hurt people both physically and mentally.  If I can’t get medical care from my doctor tomorrow, off to the emergency room.  If I go, it will be because I felt I had no other choice because of the pain, that’s usually when I have to go.  If that happens I will let everyone know if I can what is happening.

I would like to give a special Thank You  to everyone for your concerns & support, A Special Thank you to my family, the support helps m  Hello to my new followers on social media and here on Word press, I am happy that I can share my TVM Mesh Journey.  I couldn’t do this without everyone on social media and having my blog, please share it, if you know anyone who suffers with the side effects from a Transvaginal Mesh..  When I started this, it was just a Facebook page, then I decided to do a blog on my mesh Journey, from there oh man, everyday the numbers keep going up and I am so grateful for you all letting share with you my stories, which isn’t finished, I think I am just getting started.  I have been through so much and I want other patients to know they are not alone.

I love you all and blessings to you,

You can find me social media and Google +.  Going to try and get some answers on my insomnia and until tomorrow night, thank you all for reading.

Michelle Hedgcoth, Co-Founder of westcoastmeshfighter, graphic designer, writer, Transvaginal Mesh Warrior & Survivor,

 

 

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How learning how to rediscover loving and appreciating little moments living with a Transvaginal Mesh Implant.

Hello and Welcome to Manic Monday, I hope everyone is having a great Monday so far.  My Monday reminded me of times that when I had the ability to take our family on trips and enjoy life.  Now everything has changed, from how we spend our days, to life in general.  Going through a severe depressive state with extreme anxiety to starting to let go of things and remember it’s ok to enjoy life, even with a disability.

I have been really fortunate to have been able to take my family on trips and spend time with them just going out to dinner or shopping with them for new clothes, supplies for school, shoes, fun things that is popular.  At one point all my kids with the exception of my youngest, a little to young yet, but yes, I did so much with them.

Living with this disability is the biggest challenge I have ever experienced in my life.  Sacrifice has been so hard, my family and I have suffered in ways that the mesh companies couldn’t possibly imagine, while they are sitting there able to live a rich life, Anger and Sadness doesn’t even come close to how I am feeling.  I have always believed in what goes around, comes around and I am hopeful that justice will actually come in and see what is going on with how we as patients are being treated, lack of medical care and not anywhere enough on the amounts of settlements for the rest of our life.

what is painToday was exceptionally hard with pain, hopefully it won’t be a long night.  I haven’t been able to shake it and it could be a number of factors, however I go to see my Doctor this next month.  One thing I have done is Journal.  I have journals for everything that has happened since the beginning of all this and if I know I am going to a doctor any doctor, I take my medical files with my journal and ask questions.  I see my doctor every 3 months, and since my pain is really bad, I just have to relax and realize hey, it’s ok.   I am doing my best and that is good enough.

Yesterday’s blog post was really deep and although it was really difficult to type about, I believe that the truth will set you free from things and letting go of that disappointment and anger, it was hard to do, but now I want to live happy and see what else I can do to try to bring myself to a reasonable, low pain level.  Goals.. Every week I give myself realistic goals to achieve and it helps me to get through the week.  Since I am still trying to make sense of everything, I will keep tonight’s blog post short.

My new case manager called this morning, so half asleep I kept our first conversation fairy lite.  Just deal with a couple of easy things is up first and then we will take it from there.

In conclusion I wanted to share this with everyone because it’s touched my heart so much, I really am having a hard time not crying because with the recent passing of my cousin for some reason my outlook on everything changed.  I am a firm believer that when u put out positive energy, it comes back and we have had that happen for our family with clothes, food, etc.   I am so blessed and grateful for all of our family and friends supporting us emotionally and their help.  These are the important things to realize and anything too big emotionally, I give it GOD and I will touch more in detail in future blogs, but for now.  Gratitude!!!!  It wouldn’t be Manic Monday without a Dream Bedroom… Goals!

Thank you all for reading and Thursday will be a new VLOG.  I haven’t been able to post on here due to restrictions with the free account for WordPress and would love to do more, but until I start to pay, I have found other ways to share videos.  Please feel free to find me on social media. YouTube is westcoastmeshfighter, yes we have a channel and I vlog once a week right now.  Thank you all for your love and support.

Michelle Hedgcoth, co founder of westcoastmeshfighter.   #tvmwarriorandsurvivor

 

 

Hot Summer Friday Nights living with Transvaginal Mesh?

Hello and Good Evening/Morning and Welcome to Afterthoughts, West Coast Mesh Fighter. 

After a long week, I am happy to blog and talk about this heat wave we are having here in California.  It is ridiculous hot and staying in a temperature controlled room is imperative now because when I get too hot or too cold, everything seems to hurt more???   It’s now been three years since I have been able to go the beach (2hr) drive from here.  The Beach is my favorite place to relax and unwind.  I am not sure about everyone else, but my pain levels are really high and I almost had to go to the hospital a couple of nights this week, but thank you God, I am home. I really love the summer time because it’s so calming and relaxing that I can really get into dealing with my Chronic Pain.  Once I figured out how my body adapts to weather changes, I really had to make major changes.

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Hard Steps, but I work on this everyday.  It’s really easy to get into a mood where my pain and emotional state end up running me and it should be the other way around.  I spent almost 3 years in a deep depression.  I cut off all family and limited my contacts with friends, because I can’t do a lot of things the way I used to anymore, also it was assumed that I was addicted to drugs either prescription or recreational drugs (which I have never had an addiction problem) and that I was somehow making it all up to avoid working.  I have worked from the time I was 15 1/2yrs old and I actually am irritated because I can no longer work.  One thing I have come to realize is that having a mesh implant it has given me more patience and forgiveness for myself.

I was trusting my gut instinct and because I didn’t really know what was happening to me then,  I knew I couldn’t really explain to my family and friends exactly what was going on and that alone was a lot of anxiety and stress.  I feel really disconnected from my prior life as I knew it, now.  I did a lot of crying and a lot of soul searching, praying to God for guidance, then I knew what I needed to do.  Having a Transvaginal Mesh Implant has caused a lot of side effects.  My auto immune condition, fibromyalgia went from being manageable to completely out of control

Foods to avoid this summer and Foods to love

Anything that can cause Gas pains:

  1. Broccoli, beans, cheese, dairy, whole grains, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, cabbage, asparagus, and cauliflower are known to cause gas.  I definitely would talk to my doctor or nutritionist about what foods you should illuminate.
  2. Fruits such as apples, peaches, pears, and prunes contain the natural sugar alcohol, sorbitol, which the body has trouble digesting. Many fruits also have soluble fiber, which is a type of fiber that dissolves in water. Sorbitol and soluble fiber must both also pass through the large intestines, where bacteria break them down to create hydrogen, carbon dioxide, and methane gas.  I was really taken back because prunes help pass things along.
  3. Sodas and other carbonated drinks can add significantly to the amount of air you swallow. When air gets into your digestive tract, it has to pass through somehow. This causes burping and may also increase how much gas you pass. Swapping soda for juice, tea, or water (with no carbonation) may help you reduce gas.
  4. Processed foods are packaged goods, such as breads, snack foods, cereal, and salad dressing. These contain a variety of ingredients, including fructose and lactose. This combination can lead to increased gas.

Summer time includes so many things, flip flop weather, and having family bbq’s to water/theme parks and having to watch what I eat is tough, but for my digestion system I am willing to make the sacrifice’s.  I love salads with fresh vegetables and organic dressings nothing too heavy.  Watermelon, oranges, grapes… I have it on a schedule where I can eat some things and take it easy like every other day, but it varies.

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We digest food differently so it’s really a process of trial and error to see what food affect you and how they affect you.  I changed my milk products to Lactaid and most Coffee Creamers are being made where these ingredients are not in them anymore.  Finances have really played a role in all of these things that I do to make life a bit easier.  I am looking forward to a trip to the beach soon.  Most of my pain comes from the rectal side, I get inflammation in my Colon, the pain is unreal when it acts up which is everyday.

A new video will be coming soon, it is a new project I am working on continuing it and It’s a lot of fun to do.  If there are any questions, or comments, please ask away.  I will always do my best to either get answers or investigate further.

I will definitely be blogging on Sunday’s and Smalltalk, Manic Mondays and with all the stress that comes with battling this complicated condition, there is room for some happy.  Without happiness, misery will surely take over.  We are here and it’s ok to live our life’s as best as we can.  Good is good enough and forgiveness within my self helps me to walk through this journey with purpose.  Thank you all for reading tonight and I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Yes it’s time for Meme of the Week.   I did two this week.  I hope you like them.  If you have any suggestions on mesh meme’s please comment with your ideas. 

Ref:  free images, meme creator,

http://www.healthline.com/health/foods-that-cause-gas

 

M. Hedgcoth, co founder of WCMF.  Transvaginal Mesh Warrior and Survivor. God bless you.  Dedicated to John Aguilar, Rest In Peace Cousin, you will be missed everyday.  I love you. 

john john final.John John Aguilar…jjnoahashlee

 

 

 

How Do We Shake Sensitivity Living with Transvaginal Mesh????

Hello and Good Evening/Morning to everyone and thank you for stopping by and reading tonight.  I wanted to talk about sensitivity and trying to cope in the world we live in.  We all know what is happening worldwide.  I have seen a lot in my 41 years however it seems like with everyday that goes by something worse than the day before happens.  Humanity is really so important, caring for others and giving us the right to be who we are has definitely become a huge issue.  I know what it is having a disability people cannot see and how challenging it is to live with it, but I still have fight in me so bringing awareness regarding Depression and Anxiety is a key in helping patients to feel supported.  I have my TVM, ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, Dyslexia, OCD, Fibromyalgia and I am a nervous wreck (diagnoised in 07, before my tvm surgery), and now I am a big mess, but working on it.

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I never thought I would be disabled at my age, but I am.  Living with TVM has my defensive and sensitive triggers going off in different directions all the time and I have to stop and remember that we are all made up differently and what it seems to one person, may not seem so to another.  I have experienced being bullied, lied to, attacked emotionally, not believed, and so on… (another future blog I will get into real stories that I experienced as a child), but what I want to say is to please remember that we all have feelings and most importantly we are all not perfect.  Be kind to each other and we all don’t know what each of us are dealing with on a day to day basis , but I am grateful that I know I am not alone.  Thank you Mesh Warriors and Angels.

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This week I was reminded of just how precious time is because one of my closest family members is really sick and is getting ready to go meet God, anytime now, he is in hospice with a lot of our family around him, he is comfortable.  It’s been such a rough week emotionally and it has made me a bit more sensitive than normal, which for me I am already really sensitive.  I grew up with my cousins being more like siblings, so this is really hitting me hard.  He is the oldest of 10 of us and I really looked up to him.  He went to UOP to be a teacher.  He is one of the smartest people I know and did so much volunteer work on his off time, from fundraising to coaching sports teams.  Father of two beautiful children and I am sorry I am feeling really numb right now and I want to say I saw this coming but I didn’t, and it doesn’t make it any easier to cope with.

By nature I am already a very sensitive person and it took a long time to be brave enough to go public with my story.  I have found there isn’t a lot online regarding Social Anxiety Disorder but because it goes hand in hand with depression and chronic pain I want to discover more about this disorder and the coping support.  My cousin John John battled everyday with his own things but was always volunteering, or working and still continued to show us that no matter what we can overcome and rise above the obstacles.

I know we all deal with our issues separately, however one thing I learned is no matter we are facing we can still make a difference in someone’s life, he did.  Below is a photo of me and him, it was at my cousin’s (his sister) 70’s & 80’s family birthday party a few years ago, he was Michael Jackson and was our DJ.   My cousin was the type of person to celebrate life and with that I want to wish everyone a safe and wonderful weekend.  Be good to each other and Sunday’s and small talk will be back tomorrow night.  Life is too short, tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, you may never know when it will be the last time you see them again. 

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 I love you John John (Johnny Aguilar), so much….. ok where is my tissue box.

God bless you all and thank you for coming by!!!  Mrs. M. Hedgcoth, #westcoastmeshfighter, #tvmwarriorandsurvivor