How days like today, keeps me reminded how fragile my body feels. Living with a Transvaginal Mesh Implant these days is harder than you may think!

Hello and welcome to afterthoughts, stuck between two worlds living with a Transvaginal Mesh Implant and all the underlining conditions.  Living with a mesh implant is really difficult.  Emotionally I am getting stronger, although it’s been challenging and trying not to push myself into a full state where I cannot get out of bed.  It’s fall now, which is my favorite time of year, going to spend time with family, gather with our loved ones, and enjoy life.

The last couple of days have been exceptionally hard to deal with.  I deep cleaned my kitchen while our kids where on fall break.  I feel like I worked out for a week straight and my body feels like it’s in shock.  I am learning that I could be my own worst enemy when it comes to handling everyday life living with a faulty medical device that is partially still inside me, has my body really confused on how much normal I can do.

I really try to surround myself with as much calm as possible, it’s so overwhelming to think about everything my body deals with at one time.  I want to share it so there is a better understanding of a day in my life.

(Please be advised that after this point in my blog post, there will be very private sensitive experiences that I am talking about regarding my battles with having a TVM).

Being awake or asleep.  I can really say that the only time I feel no pain whatsoever is when I am asleep.  According to my husband, while I am sleeping, I sometimes kick one of my legs onto the mattress really hard due to pain in my thigh into my abdominal area, I will sometimes moan as if I am in a lot of pain, toss and turn, however I am always on my stomach.  When I wake up, I have to wait at least 5 minutes or more to see where my pain level is at so when I get up I don’t hurt myself trying to get out of bed.

After taking my morning pills, I sit and wait for some pain relief, because I am under doctor care with a Pain Management Doctor, I am now getting some pain relief.   It does seem like I have my good days coming back little by little.

pictured above:  This was me before my original surgery.  I am at the Starbucks in Half Moon Bay, CA.  Every summer I would take my kids & my mom and we would go Venice Beach, Half Moon Bay, CA.  I was able to enjoy life despite having a POP, Pelvic Organ Prolapse.  Having the surgery caused the pain and suffering to be almost unbearable to deal with.  I have tried just about everything available to help with the pain.  Today, nothing has changed since my first pelvic Botox procedure in August of 2013, which for me, my opinion, attributed to disabling me to a point of full incapacity. (please read my story on my blog page,  it explains in a greater detailed manor, how having a TVM changed my life).

I really need to get back with my GI doctor, he was out of the country for 2 months, however he may be back now and I can schedule an appointment.  Although I feel weak most of the time, I am trying to keep busy with projects at home, things that are easy to do and save the hard stuff for family to help with.  Getting into more artistic fun projects, where I can relax my mind and body is helping me stay distracted from the constant pain.  A heating pad, medication, and rest seem to really help with trying to overcome the pain for a while.

Going back to bed at night, I try to think of one positive thing I did that day, one deed to help my family at home, and prayer.  I pray for everyone in my family and my friends whom I haven’t been able to hang out with, primarily because of where I live and also because I don’t have transportation right now.  The sad reality has settled in and although it’s been hard emotionally and physically, to even try.  I have mixed emotions about life in general.  For me, this mesh condition is really difficult to understand.  The worst feeling is that I haven’t found a doctor in over 7 years, who can tell me how to live with a partially defaulted Transvaginal Mesh Implant.  I want to believe that if I can challenge myself everyday with one thing to overcome at a time, I just still have a chance to become successful again, even if it’s volunteering, helping patients when they feel no one else is listening or even cares.  I don’t believe that it is, however finding that support system that the mesh will put you through, for those who have suffered, and even though who have lost their life, because a mesh implant caused infections, nerve damage, muscle damage, failed marriage, non believers that injury and side effects are a result of a mesh implant.

One thing I have learned is that even though I cannot work anymore, doesn’t mean life is over.  For the longest time I really thought so, but experience has brought me this far and being on the brink of a deep depressive state, to where I am now.  I know anything is possible, it might just take longer than I thought it would.

I want to blog a lot more and share daily accomplishments and hurdles.  Experiences that I have over come, it really does help that I can write about it.  Reading about Mesh Implant patients, their daily lives, they share their story, it give.s me inspiration, to know that I wasn’t alone in this and that maybe I am reaching someone, anyone, so they don’t ever feel alone, the way I did.

Thanks and Gratitude:  Blogging has also helped in communication with my husband and children, so that they have an understanding just as I have been learning to live with.  This really threw a wrench in my life “master plan”.  My medical condition has affected my life so badly that I barely get to see my two oldest children, due to lack of transportation and now we live about 30 min apart.  We keep contact on the phone. video chat, and through social media, they come and visit anytime they can.  With all the experiences,  I have learned that change happens whether we want it to or not.  Nothing is promised or permanent, I have tried to chase the American Dream, not once, but several times.  For a while, I really didn’t care about much of anything, because I couldn’t rationalize in my head, how this could have happened, why and what can I do to live with it all.

I will be doing a another separate blog insert on how having a Mesh Implant, led to loss of certain family members, loss of friends, and how it’s affected my marriage and children.  With respect for their privacy, I will only discuss certain situations, directly related to the mesh and it’s impact, negative and positive, with the understanding that their privacy stay protected as well.  To my Children:

 

Since 2010, I have overcome many hurdles and there have been good times, great times, and even low and bad times.  It’s because I experienced being degraded, called a liar, been judged for how my home situation is, somehow it has made me reevaluate just what kind of life I want to live now, even with my limited options.  Change is enetival and it all starts with making changes, forgiveness, acceptance, and realizing that there is no magic book, or procedure, or written instructions on just how to do that.  I know that I cannot get back the life I once had.  Having gratitude for what I have and a special place in my heart for the close family members who continue to help us, as our family struggles through the hard times.

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

Updates:  I am currently up to date with all my doctor appointments, my dentures are not correct and they are rubbing against my gums and leaving sores, so back to the dentist for re adjusting.  I am still waiting on benefits to be granted through social security, and just trying to rest when I can.  I am trying to deal with the financial pressure, as it challenges us from one month to the next.  Some how we manage to get through it, with all the negative hurdles, we keep on going.

I don’t want to sound like a negative nelly, but the length of time to get approved for social security disability,  it’s long, really long, like years, and no one that, I have been able to find, actually talks about the struggle before benefits are granted, and after it’s creating career loss for you or even if they aren’t then there will be the why?  It’s still in it’s early stages of getting benefits for this type of condition, so my best observation is there are reviewing years of medical records, seeing me in court, I felt so horrible that day, and my requests, history, and I keep journals that details my daily struggles.  I will be blogging more often with new and updated information as I go.

 

To all my mesh brothers and sisters, I love how even though we live in different countries, we can share information, see what is going on and support each other through it.  Unfortunately, there are a certain amount of people, who think they know about what is going on and they are not doctors, or professionals licensed to treat patients with serious side effects, from mesh implants, they are not even patients. They can even be someone or someone’s, that is really close to you.  Even if they mean well, it can complicate and possibly injure an already delicate physical status and emotional state of mind.  I always recommending talking over with your doctor everything on your mind.  If they are a good doctor, they will listen to your concerns and treat you properly.

I am hopeful that my new stragty of getting a new team of medical professionals, making sure they all communicate together, is the best choice and also realizing, ” I have a faulty medical device and not all of it is gone, from the what my surgeon who did my revisional had advised me” it’s scary not to know exactly what is happening

I know that the stigma comes from more of a status of life. I will get into that in future blogs however I will discuss and highlight on how much money you make, I call it the Status Qou.  I want to do more blog posts just on treatment and lack of real care, that I experienced up until I really took my medical care back and started to make major decisions regarding my health, in fact it may take a couple of posts, just because of the length of time I have been living with this.  A lot has happened over the last 7 years and because so much has happened to me, I feel that a better understanding may come from them.  A lot of my depression comes from just dealing with ongoing medical issues, doctors, being a mom and feeling that were not getting addressed.  It’s really how you see yourself, realizing that status quo isn’t that important, if you are wanted in their life, they will make efforts to include you in it.  That part of this Journey has really been hard to deal with, especially not being able to afford things like I used to.  I miss being able to do things with my family, go on vacations, live in a better neighborhood, and just not having to worry about so much at once.  I haven’t given up on the idea that I will own my own house, get another new car, and everything will all come together, just it will be a Journey of the unexpected experiences.

Passion:  I know that what I live with, along with many other Mesh patients, that not everyone will share in trying to give/get you real help, and others will work above the challenges and over come them, one at a time.  I know that any type of mesh reaction will affect everyone differently, however I experienced a lot of questionable things that I had encountered along the way, some that shocked me.

There is a stigma, someone who has a real condition, that can’t be seen, like ours, gets treated differently, it can make it hard to believe that this happens and it makes it harder for the patient needing help.   If you should happen to run into someone who suffers from an invisible illness, or even a Mesh Injury, please remember that there is a real serious chronic debilitating condition that is a battle that we face daily.

I really want to thank everyone in the mesh community, but most importantly, My family, I am truly humbled with everything and I know that we are blessed despite the obstacles we face.  Thank you all for your continued support.

God bless and Until next time…

Michelle Hedgcoth,

co founder of westcoastmeshfighter, TVM Warrior and Survivor

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How navigating through California’s public healthcare system had me so stressed out. Here is what I know. (Part 1)

Good afternoon everyone and welcome to Afterthoughts, for westcoastmeshfighter.  My name is Michelle and I struggle everyday living with a Transvaginal Mesh Implant.  I apologize for the delay in my posts, the last couple of weeks have been a bit chaotic.  I do have a lot of updates and possible answers to questions regarding the public healthcare here in California and how if you don’t know what to do, this post can help eliminate stress and anxiety associated with having a chronic condition/illness.

(https://www.kkc.com/handbook)  The new Whistleblowers handbook

No matter what, what you were doing before the mesh implant, It’s probably very different than how you are doing now, if you suffered serious and chronic conditions/illness/pain.  For me, this mesh implant changed everything about my life. A year and a half after my initial surgery, my life changed forever and although I can’t ever work again, now I am learning what it is to not have options like I did with private insurance and doctors.  I was in for such a disappointment and going through this was so stressful.  Going through my healthcare options have not been easy for me.

Having to deal with the actual side effects were even worse because I was still trying to work and deal with this at the same time.  I wanted to break it down so if you are just getting started, this blog post may help you through the process.

I was working full time as a Recovery Specialist for one of the top collections agencies that was contracted with the United States Department of Treasury, Federal Government.  I started working there in 2005 in their student loan division and worked my way up the corporate ladder to a unique department for collections.  Just as I started to get familiar with my new job role at work, then the nightmare began.

 

One thing I learned right away, still too stubborn to accept, is that when I developed a lifetime disability, I got treated differently, like a failure, like a nothing.  I committed myself to my lifestyle, Career, Wife, and Mother.  I had a very successful life.  I had a house, nice rental, a car worked to finance myself, and money to give my kids a regular middle class life.  My employer, (which I can’t name), more specifically, my Division Manager/ and Team Managers, at the time, started the harassment process.  Since working there I have been a subject of certain harassments since I started working there, it just never stopped, and continued to get worse.  I went to work with the idea they could fire me that day without cause, due to the at will laws in California.  Trust me, they made sure we knew it daily, weekly, monthly.  Stress was very familiar to me, but when I started to have complications medically, their support changes to, how can I get rid of them asap, and I will explain why.

When companies become power hungry, (like the one I worked for) the employees really take the heat because we are the collectors, it’s our job to hit our numbers, so the Team managers can hit their numbers, then onto division managers so they can hit their numbers and then onto our location being number 1.  It’s really an eye opener when you look it this way.  My job as a Recovery Specialist was really stressful already then dealing with medical complications just made things worse for me.

It was my job to collect a quota every month, and even though I was hitting my numbers, my then division manager focused in my comings and goings to the restroom, breaks, and even lunch time, called me into his office and put in me all the times I had to go to the bathroom, and told me they don’t retain part time employee’s and tried to get me to sign it and admit that, however I didn’t sign it and I was so nervous because this was my bread and butter for my family.  I told him that I had filed FMLA paperwork with Human Resources (which he knew about it) and I said to contact them regarding my restroom trips.  Within a month, I was demoted and sent back to another division, the lowest pay scale in the company, I was being sabotaged and harassed because of my disability and I had my Hippa rights violated. 

They didn’t just demote me, they destroyed me at work, I was placed in the lowest possible pay scale that I could get, which put me in the negative financially.   I had asked to go back to the job I had before they promoted me, I was ignored, even though I was really good at that job, I could have retained my job and somewhat of my pay.  Then the harassment continued, I knew there wasn’t anything my new Team Manager or Division Manager could do, My Team Manager was really great, I had worked with him before, that wasn’t the issue.  The Division Manager was Brand New and just promoted.  I knew She wouldn’t do anything to help me, so I tried to focus on my daily tasks in my job.  I excelled exceptionally, even with my disabilities, however financially I couldn’t recover the money and maintain a life for my family at the same time.

I went from making close to $1500 a month on bonus to maybe $150 a month and because of some legal loophole within the company, I now somehow owed them money, through a system they called draw.  So any bonus I would have made, the company took it.  I went from making close to $2000-$2500 to let than a $1000 and they were taking my bonus money.  (how can all of this be legal), it’s still a question to me.  This was just a small piece to this complicated puzzle.  I was even told by a team manager that I had to put a sticky note on my desk for every time I had been going to the restroom.  Tried to say, if there is a fire or something wrong, they need to know where I was, even though they knew, it’s little things like that daily I had to carry on my shoulders.

Can you believe that I followed the rules and I actually submitted my paperwork with Human Resources from the start and still I was being harassed.  The stress became so much that I wasn’t concentrating anymore, I was making simple little mistakes in my scripts and also they were changing the company system completely and I didn’t understand most of it.  I went to my doctor and asked to be taken off work and my doctor did, I was in and out of the hospital so much, I didn’t know much of anything at the time about my conditions and it was like the last 8 years with the company, didn’t mean anything at all.

https://www.dol.gov/whd/state/fmla/ca.htm

From 2011 to 2013 was some of the worst days at my employer.  I was so stressed out from my medical conditions and work, that it started to affect my life at home.  I don’t want to dwell on this part because the guy was a jerk anyways, I was in a previous relationship at this time and after 3 years, he confessed he was lying to me about our entire relationship and about 8 months before my departure from my employer that we split.  We had created a life together with close to a $6000 a month figure to less than $1000 a month, by the time I left my company.

At this point, I am dealing with my conditions, significantly a loss of income, and now because of Ca state laws, I was losing job and my medical insurance too….FMLA and Medically leave run concurrently together.

From the time I started to have more complications to that point, most of my FMLA and Medically leave was used and I was left with 3 months and I was at the beginning of my complications.  I know the new Human Resource did everything she could to try and help me keep my job.  She was from corporate, and came in to help clean up the mess that was going on at my job site with internal scandals and etc…

There were so many instances of harassment against me, I couldn’t see straight.  I couldn’t believe that after 8 years with the company, being at one point, ranked one of the best collectors, that my employer could do this to me.  They did and because I was basically pushed out of my company and I was forced to get public health insurance.

(footnote)  For most of my career I had BCBS (Blue cross/Blue shield hmo).  In 2012 my company changed our health insurance due to high costs and Kaiser HMO was offered.  Aside of PPO’s with BSBC, there was no way I could afford the deductible and 20% of costs, that I choose the HMO with Kaiser.  (I had me and my 3 kids on my insurance so that would have been $2000 up front for cost to keep my doctors for me and my kids), there was no way so I had to change it….

due to the length of this blog post.. please see part 2 to see what happens to me next….

Thank you all for your support… M. Hedgcoth, westcoastmeshfighter

 

 

 

Mesh Hacks, Blogging & Vlogging Relieve with trial and error living with a Transvaginal Mesh Implant

(Graphics found on Google)

Hello and Good Evening/Morning and welcome to Manic Monday.  It has been a very Manic Monday, my chronic pain is so bad I know it’s going to be hard to go to sleep.  By the time anyone reads this, it will be Tuesday.  I have been a bit behind lately on my blog posts.  Since I had the surgery in 2009, I started having complications about a year after my initial surgery.

It started with extreme pelvic pain attack, (that is what I am calling them), where pieces of mesh were pulled out from my Vaginal Wall and then given some medicine (antibiotic) for 6 weeks and then come back. Every time I went back, more came out and more pills, and more off work time and rest.

This went on for about 8 months, my primary urogynocologist had told me that it was all healed.  After getting a green light, it was business as usual.  Then my employer announces that our HMO plan was getting cut.  This was for the 2011-2012 Benefit year.  I was forced financially to get Kaiser HMO.  It was here that I had my revisional surgery, then months of pain medication, because the pain wouldn’t stop and still hasn’t but now I have a very low amount of medicine that I take.  The trade off has kept me in large amounts of pain.  (graphic found on google)

(Graphic found online)

Since then I have tried so many things, pelvic floor exercises, numerous doctor appointments, Migraines, to pain  every where and not digesting my food properly, pain management with the county, which only did injections into the back with medication to try and block out the pain, unfortunately.   In August of 2013, I had pelvic Botox, which started the new journey down the disability road.  I still can’t believe it.

The Injections, they didn’t work either , after 4 painful in office surgical procedures, my insurance and doctors just stopped, no more covered physical therapy, no more health concerns, just nothing., I am barely hanging on with my Transportation.    I have been asking for a 3d ultrasound to locate the remaining pieces of mesh, still haven’t gotten one.   My new Gynecologist, wanted to wait to see what my new doctor was going to do and this was 8 months ago.  I hardly get pain medication anymore and I feel at anytime I could lose my life because of the pain, I don’t know what is left inside me and what is going on (with my body).  I am still confused and really need to try and get some more answers.

In the mean time, I am doing what works somewhat.  I have good days, then really bad days.  It’s been difficult, but I need to take a nap before phone calls so I will wrap up by saying, when you go to the doctor, take a file with your medical records with your diagnoses and be honest with your doctor, it should be a relationship you can trust, .  Also take your medication list, sometimes meds can cause certain things too.  Finally, grab a cup of Hot Tea in the evening with local honey, and a great documentary on wild animals and you will sleeping in no time.

Tomorrow, I will be making a lot of calls, I feel like I have fallen through the cracks and all the while, I am at home in pain.  I am grateful for my life, however what happened to I worked for over 25 years and I paid into the social security.  I filed my claim also 2 years ago and it does really feel like my chances for anything were taken from me.  Now I am lucky to get through a day.  It’s been really rough, lately having bowl movement issues and everything is inflamed.  Last time this happened, I was hospitalized for 3 days because of Opioid Induced Constipation.  Now it’s the other way, (diarrhea), and that is just as painful with Gas pains, if not worse.  The best I can do is rest at home, until I see my doctor and they can try to figure things out.

Thank you all so much for reading and until next time…. stay positive, talk to anyone in our support groups, they are all amazing patients for sharing their stories and I really want to go back to doing my special series, I still haven’t quite figured out how to post on specific pages and it seems somehow I have added another one,  so either one will get changed or I will copy the blog post to the front page and delete the 4th page.  I may have a use for it, so for now, it will stay.    I am still really new to WordPress and I have a schedule this week so I am off to the races and I will be back on Thursday for a new video (Vlog)  My YouTube is westcoastmeshfighter, you can find all my video’s there. God bless everyone and we are stronger together.  To my Mesh brothers and sisters, may the lord guide you through these difficult times.  Thank you

M. Hedgcoth, Wife and Mother, Along with my husband, I am co founder of WCMF, Writer, TVM Warrior and Survivor, Graphic Designer. 

Advocate and Humanitarian for TVM Patients

( Personalized Emoji for westcoastmeshfighter), no copy write intended

How becoming an Advocate for TVM Patients, may have saved my Emotional Life.

Hello and Good Evening/Morning and welcome to Sundays and Small talk, where I am stuck between two worlds living with Transvaginal Mesh.  I hope everyone is well and looking forward to watching the Eclipse tonight and tomorrow.  I spent some down time this weekend as I haven’t been feeling as well as I would like.  I did some research online and found out some interesting things about my Mesh Device, which is no longer on the market, recalled by the manufacturer and also found out updated info regarding the on going Litigation.  After googling one of my many side effects, I fell into the internet trap of going on one thing, then to another with the first one still not answered, it became too much and I had overload.  Yes it happens, too much info is not always good sometimes.

I am still researching county options for aftercare, where I live, and it’s been a very rocky rough start to the changes I made personally regarding my medical team.  To Clarify, it’s been a year since I first started making changes in regards to my Physical and Mental Health.   I know there a stigma, however I never knew how bad it was until I had a few really bad experiences with Medical Staff here in my county regarding my health.

I know who I was before and who I am now, and who I almost became.  They have a great deal to do with my mental state of mind now on healthcare & treatment of patients.  Everyday now, I struggle with so many things related to the mesh in some regard and everything that surrounds me and one of my biggest struggles is Trust, once my doctors started failing me, after the insurance change.  (this happened because I know longer had my health insurance from my employer)  I had to move to Medi-cal.  Then my nightmare really began and by misleading me, or telling me one thing and turning out it’s another, how I was treated at work before I was forced into a disability status, and how alone things can seem.  Let down, after let down, I felt like I was going a bit crazy, because no one could tell me anything.  Here I am, it’s been almost 8 years since my original surgery and has been quite a roller coaster since then.

I really want to get more specific on my experiences regarding how my care was and how it is progressing now.  It’s on the discussion block, brainstorming table, so to speak.  It’s been about 3-4 months since I began this journey of going public with my story and since then I have started a YouTube Channel, which I want to do more Vlogging, also I am on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, and G+ and Facebook, where this all started.  I really didn’t see myself even talking about this, let alone, advocating, writing, researching, talking to patients and just learning how to deal with my conditions.  I really want to bring hope, inspiration, and in that, rid the status quo factor, and that it won’t play such a role in our healthcare, and how we are judged and treated as patients.

Believe or Not, there has been some positive’s too.  I was able to get Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy.  My PT, she was amazing and although I am not doing my exercises enough, I have restarted goals.  I know I have relapsed several times because of pain, infections and I still could again, sometimes hospitalization for IV Therapy.

I also have been in Emotional Therapy for a year and a half, looking back, it’s hard to see where all that time went.

Eating changes to gluten free, organic, and Lactose changes, no more dairy.  It’s really easy to get discouraged, I still deal with extreme pain and suffering, that never ends.  I know that everyone’s journey is different, but by sharing my story and experiences, it may just help someone, it can save a life..  The side effects of Mesh Implants, have driven patients to suicide because of chronic pain.

Thank you for reading and until next time, stay safe, and peace be with you all.

M. Hedgcoth Co-Founder of Westcoastmeshfighter, Mesh Advocate for Patients, Families and Friends of anyone who suffers from the underlining conditions/side effects from a Transvaginal Mesh Implant.

Book status… still in progress

 

Why do I have energy at times when I can rest, but when I rest I have too much energy?

 

Hello and Good Morning/Evening and Welcome to Afterthoughts, (WCMF).  Since I missed Manic Monday and was late with Sundays and Smalltalk, I thought that talking about chronic pain and fatigue would be a great topic, plus, some things I try to do to make my nights rest as comfortable as possible.

 

The last few days I haven’t been feeling that well, and after going grocery shopping on Monday, then by the time we were back, I felt like I ran the mile.  So exhausted, and also getting a little bit of house work, had me in bed, not just in bed, but passed out asleep.  Apparently, I was that tired and this lasted until today, just eating, restroom, sleep.  I don’t know what is happening, sometimes too much sleep is a sign of infection somewhere, but somehow both my appointments today canceled.  Gratitude, that is what I have to say is Gratitude.

My dad came from out of town to take me to the store, we talked over lunch and went to do kids back to school shopping.  I really was so tired, but spending that time with my Dad, was worth it all.  I am really grateful to him, my mother, and it was just a lot, clothes shoes, supplies, thank goodness I had my daughter there to help out.

When pain like this acts up, I feel so tired and lacking of any energy.  I mopped my kitchen and dining room, the day before yesterday.  So today, now really exhausted and my arms and shoulders, into my back hurt so much, but I am fighting to work through it, I can’t work out like I used to, but I am going to push through. Yes I have kids, however it sometimes easier to do the chores because I am picky, but I do enlist them for help all the time.

Now that my schedule is all out of place, I am going to put it back together.  Try to sleep a normal and reasonable amount of time, and just make some adjustments.  I have been cheating on my coffee limits, so I must go back to 2 cups a day and stopping by 3 in the afternoon.  When I worked I used to drink Coffee All day and now I can’t do that anymore..  I will be up all night and my pain is really bad.  By doing a couple of things at night, tea (relaxing) easy listening music or something to watch on the TV, doing things that relax me and not bring stress to me.

Before my Mesh Implant Complications, I had an amazing life, that I worked really hard for.  Now, I am struggling but I am not broken either.  I know that there isn’t anything that can be done now, so I just take things slowly so I don’t want to get hurt.  Everyday I get with my family is a blessing ; and I am going to beat this mesh, as long as I am alive, won’t let it beat me.

Finally when I took the picture (above: me) I really didn’t think anything of it, thought it was different, but the truth is I don’t have any teeth right now.  At my age, my teeth, they all just kept breaking down and now I have to get false teeth, in the process of it now.  I ended up with abscessed tooth and I have emergency surgery to have the rest removed.   Now I am seeing people around the world talking about how they lost their teeth after mesh was implanted. I don’t know for sure if mesh implants causes teeth decay, but if it does, just another thing to add to the list of side effects that we as patients, are suffering with.

Thank you to everyone following my blog.  After accepting that pain was going to be a part of my life forever, I started slowly changing things within a comfort zone, mental and physical.    Ex” I mopped both kitchen and dining, now I am going to declutter and start the remodeling.  Just to clarify, we are renting so nothing major than just redecorating with updated pictures.  I want my dining room to look like an old place friends can come and enjoy with us.

My Cat, Sassy, she likes to sit everywhere.  Most of the time when we have company over, my kitchen table becomes the heart of our home. This table belonged to my grandparents on my Dad’s side, and I would love to restore it, sometime in the future, but redoing my dining room will be fun, and  It will  keep me distracted from the pain hopefully, and maybe I can get some fun stuff done.  My pain is nuts, so hopefully I can get some relief and not have to go a hospital.  😦

I usually do my VLOG, Impromptu on Thursdays, so my plan is to be back a little earlier to bring you my VLOG, my readers and listeners, I would love to hear your idea’s.  This is if my pain doesn’t interfere again.  I know it’s not easy to talk about having a TVM, but I believe we are stronger together.  Transvaginal Mesh Implants hurt people both physically and mentally.  If I can’t get medical care from my doctor tomorrow, off to the emergency room.  If I go, it will be because I felt I had no other choice because of the pain, that’s usually when I have to go.  If that happens I will let everyone know if I can what is happening.

I would like to give a special Thank You  to everyone for your concerns & support, A Special Thank you to my family, the support helps m  Hello to my new followers on social media and here on Word press, I am happy that I can share my TVM Mesh Journey.  I couldn’t do this without everyone on social media and having my blog, please share it, if you know anyone who suffers with the side effects from a Transvaginal Mesh..  When I started this, it was just a Facebook page, then I decided to do a blog on my mesh Journey, from there oh man, everyday the numbers keep going up and I am so grateful for you all letting share with you my stories, which isn’t finished, I think I am just getting started.  I have been through so much and I want other patients to know they are not alone.

I love you all and blessings to you,

You can find me social media and Google +.  Going to try and get some answers on my insomnia and until tomorrow night, thank you all for reading.

Michelle Hedgcoth, Co-Founder of westcoastmeshfighter, graphic designer, writer, Transvaginal Mesh Warrior & Survivor,