How Do We Shake Sensitivity Living with Transvaginal Mesh????

Hello and Good Evening/Morning to everyone and thank you for stopping by and reading tonight.  I wanted to talk about sensitivity and trying to cope in the world we live in.  We all know what is happening worldwide.  I have seen a lot in my 41 years however it seems like with everyday that goes by something worse than the day before happens.  Humanity is really so important, caring for others and giving us the right to be who we are has definitely become a huge issue.  I know what it is having a disability people cannot see and how challenging it is to live with it, but I still have fight in me so bringing awareness regarding Depression and Anxiety is a key in helping patients to feel supported.  I have my TVM, ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, Dyslexia, OCD, Fibromyalgia and I am a nervous wreck (diagnoised in 07, before my tvm surgery), and now I am a big mess, but working on it.

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I never thought I would be disabled at my age, but I am.  Living with TVM has my defensive and sensitive triggers going off in different directions all the time and I have to stop and remember that we are all made up differently and what it seems to one person, may not seem so to another.  I have experienced being bullied, lied to, attacked emotionally, not believed, and so on… (another future blog I will get into real stories that I experienced as a child), but what I want to say is to please remember that we all have feelings and most importantly we are all not perfect.  Be kind to each other and we all don’t know what each of us are dealing with on a day to day basis , but I am grateful that I know I am not alone.  Thank you Mesh Warriors and Angels.

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This week I was reminded of just how precious time is because one of my closest family members is really sick and is getting ready to go meet God, anytime now, he is in hospice with a lot of our family around him, he is comfortable.  It’s been such a rough week emotionally and it has made me a bit more sensitive than normal, which for me I am already really sensitive.  I grew up with my cousins being more like siblings, so this is really hitting me hard.  He is the oldest of 10 of us and I really looked up to him.  He went to UOP to be a teacher.  He is one of the smartest people I know and did so much volunteer work on his off time, from fundraising to coaching sports teams.  Father of two beautiful children and I am sorry I am feeling really numb right now and I want to say I saw this coming but I didn’t, and it doesn’t make it any easier to cope with.

By nature I am already a very sensitive person and it took a long time to be brave enough to go public with my story.  I have found there isn’t a lot online regarding Social Anxiety Disorder but because it goes hand in hand with depression and chronic pain I want to discover more about this disorder and the coping support.  My cousin John John battled everyday with his own things but was always volunteering, or working and still continued to show us that no matter what we can overcome and rise above the obstacles.

I know we all deal with our issues separately, however one thing I learned is no matter we are facing we can still make a difference in someone’s life, he did.  Below is a photo of me and him, it was at my cousin’s (his sister) 70’s & 80’s family birthday party a few years ago, he was Michael Jackson and was our DJ.   My cousin was the type of person to celebrate life and with that I want to wish everyone a safe and wonderful weekend.  Be good to each other and Sunday’s and small talk will be back tomorrow night.  Life is too short, tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, you may never know when it will be the last time you see them again. 

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 I love you John John (Johnny Aguilar), so much….. ok where is my tissue box.

God bless you all and thank you for coming by!!!  Mrs. M. Hedgcoth, #westcoastmeshfighter, #tvmwarriorandsurvivor

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