How do you relax when life won’t let you? TVM can put a damper on things…


The panic button effect:

Hello, good afternoon, morning to you all.  I really had intended for this post to be last night, however I was struggling a bit on research and in turn the topic I wanted to talk about, Panic mode was more complicated than I thought.  I wanted to talk about something really hard for me to deal with, this is what I like to call The panic button effect.  How can we slow it down or even stop panic from overwhelming us into a frazzled place of OMG, everything is out of control?

It seems interesting to me now and somehow it never occurred to me before, the overwhelming amount of stress a person carries everyday.  Before my TVM, I had a full time, kid pooling, sports mom, career driven, life.  I was always busy, and hardly any room to rest.  When my husband and I met in early 2013 and blended our families together (married in 2014), I went from being a single mom, family of 4, to a married mom, family of 7.  Honestly, when I had my original surgery for TVM, in 2009, I thought of how different things are going to be, this is great, now my symptoms will go away and life moves forward, YAY Right?  afterthought…(In a later blogs entries, I will discuss why I had the surgery and the complicated journey I have been on for the last 8 years).

I know what the end result of that discussion is right now, however a lot has happened in-between.  All of this stems from having my TVM and the brutal plague that is killing just about everything I worked for and love.  It’s been an emotional and physical roller coaster that I couldn’t have even prepare myself for.  I didn’t even know I had anxiety, panic, and depression until I saw my doctor and was told, the panic attacks just started to come and they do get worse.

For me, many things have contributed to this Mental Disability and I will get into this more with my blog entries, as I go, but a couple questions I asked myself were,  how do I cope with this?  How can I get them to stop? Because of how in depth this subject is, I know I can’t possibly give definitive answers, based on my experiences, all in the blog post.  So for now I will leave you all with this in mind, the state of a panic experience is going to happen, however, whenever it does, you are never going to be really prepared for it, attempt to control it, it’s in our nature to defend.  I immediately will leave any emotionally, stressful situation that isn’t healthy for me and I shut down.  My only recourse in the beginning was to smoke a cigarette, headphones on easy listening music, and find a distraction, whether it be house work, or doing some sort of yard work, I know I shouldn’t be doing physically and end up hurting myself, going into a depressive mode and just stay in bed and watch TV.  It’s always going to be a work in progress, and thankfully we are not alone in this.   God bless Mesh Angels, their families and friends who are trying to help.  Thank you for reading, please comment below, or ask me any questions, I hope I can help.  Until next time Mesh Angels and everyone who is suffering with some sort of Chronic Pain Condition,  Memorial Day weekend is here, stay safe and try not to over do it.

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